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Sobshrink's avatar

Dr. Cifu, I hope your colleagues listen to your wisdom so they can vicariously learn through your experience! It's good that MM had the self-confidence to speak up to you. My mother-in-law was of that same generation, and it didn't occur to her to question a doctor, so she took an overdose of doctor-prescribed vitamin D for many years (parathyroids had been removed and there was an apparent miscommunication between doctors). As a result, her kidneys were destroyed.

Your writing brings to mind a couple of my favorite Carl Rogers quotes:

“When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, 'Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's like to be me.' ”

“The more I can keep a relationship free of judgment and evaluation, the more this will permit the other person to reach the point where he recognizes that the locus of evaluation, the center of responsibility, lies within himself.”

Pam Peters's avatar

Your words struck home as I recently had to be the advocate for a dying friend in Honduras. She wanted to be DNI/DNR and to go home, they wanted to keep her in the hospital at great expense and keep aggressively managing her symptoms of end stage heart failure......... It was interesting as I explained to them who she was, and as she would routinely curse them, they came to understand her independence and that she DID NOT want to prolong her life in the current state, and it was not going to get better. The doctors all eventually came to understand who she was and respected her decisions, she died peacefully in the hospital a day after i told her i would arrange air transport to return her to her home on Roatan. Having been a patient with Scleroderma and a nurse, I try and educate and advocate for my friends in my retirement.

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