This memorandum proposes the development of the Premier Card, a co-branded credit product launched in partnership with a major regional financial institution.
What about the never ending vaccinations consumers can obtain through the Rewards card? Vaccination against being struck by lightning, another vaccination to protect from being hit on the head by a coconut (not available in tropical states), another against falling out of bed... Offer college students vaccination against failing grades (only the... ahem "vulnerable" qualify - those with perfect GPAs)... Observational trials will show these vaccinations exceed the annual influenza vaccine in efficacy (there's an association between getting the vaccine and protective behaviours that works in our favour)...
Oh yeah, and the instant re-labelling psych clinic that for a hefty fee will repackage your BPD diagnosis as ADHD, complex trauma, and autism, and our homeopathic treatment has a 99% long term success rate (99% of BPD remits in 30 years no matter what happens, but we facilitate the development of an autistic identity and a neuro divergent lifestyle which provides a meaningful occupation for our erstwhile borderlines)
This has to be an attempt at humor. It is far fetched and some of it obviously comes from ChatGPT (I'd recognize that format anywhere). Problem is I am not sure if it is humor, and therefore it fails the sniff test. And the rewards are not value based, that is for sure.
Consumer finance + medicine. What could possibly go wrong. Unless doctors get paid by the patient, none of this will work. This gets us closer, but I doubt it can scale. Plus, trust in doctors, for me, is at an ALL TIME low. "Prestige association with an academic health system"? Doubt it. I place the medical industrial complex and all politicians and MSM at the same level. BTW, whenever "industrial complex" gets added, it's the same as "embattled CEO" We know what happens next. Some of the individual doctors I see have earned my trust. I used to have blanket trust of doctors and CDC/FDA before COVID. BOY WAS I WRONG. Color me Jaded.
Seems like very few people wwould charge enough to pay for most of the rewards mentioned here. Has anyone runned the numbers? Also, the people who do spend enough, are they going to bother with accumulating points to pay for what they can buy if they want to?
lol I was on call last night, so this was a well timed piece of LMAO.
I think medical networks should just go into credit card business. Visa, MC, Amex…they’re doing well. So forget about just “membership”…..just go straight into being a creditor. Put your hospital bills, or any bills, on the network CC…and pay 21.99% annual interest whilst earning “health credits” you can use on “preventative care” rewards that are based on zero data. Esp well suited for the “frequent flyer” (in the sense of hospital parlance, and not in the sense of vacation enthusiast).
Yes credit cards are the natural extension of typical hospital financial treatment of patients. They already have the playbook down pat of putting patients on payment plans, sending them to collections, and garnishing wages for exorbitant bills…
Some great ideas here on how to tap into what appeared to be an oversaturated wellness market. Our customers will be too smart to settle for primitive things like a watch that monitors vital signs and tells the user how many calories they have burned. We can offer a portable device that the user can run up and down their body and send the images to our MRI that will then send back a report generated by AI. Talk about early detection! Think of the savings. No more need to pay some radiologist to read the scan. A simple chip implanted under the skin can give continuous monitoring of vital blood levels such as nitric oxide and CRP. For an upgrade we can offer continuing up to the moment monitoring of glucose and insulin levels that can tell the user the exact moment they have slipped from normal into pre-diabetes. The possibilities are endless.
This is a tongue-in-cheek (I hope) proposal for health systems to separate patients from more of their money without providing any actual health benefit. In the case of overly aggressive screenings such as full body MRIs, they actually introduce risks and possible harms.
If only doctors knew about health and nutrition. How much do they "learn" in medical school that isn't directed by Big Pharma? This is just a way to get the "healthy" hooked into the system and make money off of them.
What about the never ending vaccinations consumers can obtain through the Rewards card? Vaccination against being struck by lightning, another vaccination to protect from being hit on the head by a coconut (not available in tropical states), another against falling out of bed... Offer college students vaccination against failing grades (only the... ahem "vulnerable" qualify - those with perfect GPAs)... Observational trials will show these vaccinations exceed the annual influenza vaccine in efficacy (there's an association between getting the vaccine and protective behaviours that works in our favour)...
Oh yeah, and the instant re-labelling psych clinic that for a hefty fee will repackage your BPD diagnosis as ADHD, complex trauma, and autism, and our homeopathic treatment has a 99% long term success rate (99% of BPD remits in 30 years no matter what happens, but we facilitate the development of an autistic identity and a neuro divergent lifestyle which provides a meaningful occupation for our erstwhile borderlines)
This has to be an attempt at humor. It is far fetched and some of it obviously comes from ChatGPT (I'd recognize that format anywhere). Problem is I am not sure if it is humor, and therefore it fails the sniff test. And the rewards are not value based, that is for sure.
Careful. Lots of satire on The Simpsons has come to be.
Whole-body MRI screening experiences-I can't wait
Consumer finance + medicine. What could possibly go wrong. Unless doctors get paid by the patient, none of this will work. This gets us closer, but I doubt it can scale. Plus, trust in doctors, for me, is at an ALL TIME low. "Prestige association with an academic health system"? Doubt it. I place the medical industrial complex and all politicians and MSM at the same level. BTW, whenever "industrial complex" gets added, it's the same as "embattled CEO" We know what happens next. Some of the individual doctors I see have earned my trust. I used to have blanket trust of doctors and CDC/FDA before COVID. BOY WAS I WRONG. Color me Jaded.
Seems like very few people wwould charge enough to pay for most of the rewards mentioned here. Has anyone runned the numbers? Also, the people who do spend enough, are they going to bother with accumulating points to pay for what they can buy if they want to?
lol I was on call last night, so this was a well timed piece of LMAO.
I think medical networks should just go into credit card business. Visa, MC, Amex…they’re doing well. So forget about just “membership”…..just go straight into being a creditor. Put your hospital bills, or any bills, on the network CC…and pay 21.99% annual interest whilst earning “health credits” you can use on “preventative care” rewards that are based on zero data. Esp well suited for the “frequent flyer” (in the sense of hospital parlance, and not in the sense of vacation enthusiast).
Yes credit cards are the natural extension of typical hospital financial treatment of patients. They already have the playbook down pat of putting patients on payment plans, sending them to collections, and garnishing wages for exorbitant bills…
Some great ideas here on how to tap into what appeared to be an oversaturated wellness market. Our customers will be too smart to settle for primitive things like a watch that monitors vital signs and tells the user how many calories they have burned. We can offer a portable device that the user can run up and down their body and send the images to our MRI that will then send back a report generated by AI. Talk about early detection! Think of the savings. No more need to pay some radiologist to read the scan. A simple chip implanted under the skin can give continuous monitoring of vital blood levels such as nitric oxide and CRP. For an upgrade we can offer continuing up to the moment monitoring of glucose and insulin levels that can tell the user the exact moment they have slipped from normal into pre-diabetes. The possibilities are endless.
Sign me up…!
Seriously
Totally serious
🤭
Rewarding the right behaviors, but still financial manipulation.
Rewards alter behavior. Dog and bone. And they’re patient. They will take it slow. Money speaks so loudly that people can’t hear the warnings.
When I was young, doctors still said LOSE WEIGHT! WALK! STOP SMOKING! EAT BETTER FOOD!
Now they say, You can’t help it. Take this pill and come back in 2 months
And who is collecting the conventional 27% annual interest on card balances? Redacted health system? Disgusting
This sounds a lot like the Vitality Rewards program offered by a major life insurance company. https://www.johnhancock.com/life-insurance/vitality/vitality-program.html
This is a tongue-in-cheek (I hope) proposal for health systems to separate patients from more of their money without providing any actual health benefit. In the case of overly aggressive screenings such as full body MRIs, they actually introduce risks and possible harms.
Nicely done!
"Subscription costs for a small number of pre-approved wellness-oriented Substacks"
If only doctors knew about health and nutrition. How much do they "learn" in medical school that isn't directed by Big Pharma? This is just a way to get the "healthy" hooked into the system and make money off of them.
Dr. Oz