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Doreen Campbell's avatar

Dr. Cifu,

How you've inspired me today... As the owner of a small ALF (Assisted Living) Home, this is my life, and a frequent mantra. I find in my staff a tendency to mirror social media as it becomes more divisive and negative. Our residents are elderly, presently ranging from 77 to 91, and we've had them up to 99, as the 9th decade becomes more commonly survived and in my world, they're thriving. Our current diabetic came in with 34 units and 3 months later he was down to 12, and we kicked the oral meds a few weeks later... I love making that difference with hydration, sunlight, exercise, really great nutrition (we make healthy popsicles, 2-ingredient, 1-min peanut butter mousse) He's doing so well at 88, 2 years in! Except for the PCa, that is. But we don't focus there.

So the last ingredient is Meaningful Engagement. When elderly people dress up and go to the doctor, they often display attention-seeking behavior and the TV gives them ammo, what to ask about... I'm praying our aging population of docs don't all retire too soon, because many of them have common sense. And a heart, like our dear author.

I believe it's our job as caregivers, to, well... Care about these people. That is the hardest thing to find. Sure, everyone cares deeply until they get their preferred shift and enough hours. Then I start to hear suggestions to 'get a pill' for this or that one. There are those who work without speaking much to the people I love dearly. (why bother, they'll forget anyway) Well, in my 15 years I've seen they never forget you made them feel loved. I tell many of the same corny jokes and reflect on the beautiful moments, and we laugh together as a family. But the staff comes and goes and are dragged down and beaten up by the divisiveness of social media in between.

Last night one called and coughed up every negative thought that crossed her mind, while driving home from her shift. I realize our residents can be very different on any given day. I've been slapped many times but never by someone with their blood sugar on straight! They're not 'performatively nice individuals' - I'm indebted to Dr Braun Bates for that description. My view is from a different window in daily care.

Angel House is 'just' a house, converted with fire sprinklers. Some residents keep "their doctor" who sees the "performative" patient. I've said they see the 80-90-year-old with her lipstick and sweater, asking about the medicine she sees on TV. Why not? It seems having T2D is to dance in the streets with an instant family of obese people, when they take the magic shot and they can eat "anything they want"... We transport them to the 60's with tuna noodle casserole (healthier noodles & no-salt canned ingredients are no less tasty & comforting) They end up wanting real food in our house! (Life used to be so hard...) Music is huge in the meaningful engagement category!

I also remark, "I don't like any food enough to take a shot!" Still, a screen tells many people what to do and how to think today - exacerbated by the past 5 years of real-time isolation. And that doctor they ask about that advertised drug, has no idea she just put the cat in the fridge yesterday at home alone! But I'm not a doctor, just a real estate appraiser grown up from a bookworm - I love research and the internet has Lots of that to benefit my resident family.

One has to maintain a sense of humor, along with a sense of human.

Thank you so much for this thought-provoking and inspiring post.

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Bernardo Vidal Pimentel's avatar

It was a good and provocative tweet.

If those doctors commenting felt provoked, it possibly reveals their inability of dealing with the fact that our patients are persons with thoughts and not just files and medical cases.

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