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Robin Brooks-Sherriff's avatar

Very often people are seeking care, the feeling of being seen and looked after. When you feel crummy you want someone to take the lead and make it better in some way. As healthcare providers that is fundamentally our job. Obviously accurate diagnosis and treatment are part of it but if you don’t feel cared for- that wont do the trick. I have been a nurse for 29 years and my most important tools in making people feel better are juice boxes, cups of tea and an offer to hear their story. Ten minutes and a few tears or laughs later, and they feel better (was that not the goal?) and ready to hear what I or the doctor are saying. Often what they needed most was someone to bear witness to their suffering. Because they feel heard they reveal much more, often giving you the tidbit of information that makes the diagnosis much easier.

This process of taking the lead and looking after someone also impacts those of us doing it. You Understand that you are their best bet in this moment. Feeling your caring with the power you hold in that moment- renders you the most creative you can be- you are the answer for this person right now- what can you employ to identify their issue and make it better?

As humans, we are literally designed to exist in families and communities of cascading care. When someone presents their vulnerability to you, your most beautiful human instincts should lead you to take the lead and look after them- how to look after them will become obvious when you start from there.

Thanks for the thoughtful article.

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Rick Gibson's avatar

Now retired, but I once was an emergency doctor, and have done 40 years of family practice.

I wonder, when I read a clinical scenario like the one you describe, what the patient herself was hoping to accomplish in coming to the emergency department. What was the emergency? She’d had the problem for years, had tried various therapies, no doubt had undergone endless testing, and was awaiting a (more likely another) specialist assessment. What hope was there that you would figure it all out, when nobody else had?

Put another way, you were thinking she wanted a diagnosis. She probably had another goal in mind, maybe compassion, maybe a brief respite from her symptoms, who knows. Sometimes I would simply ask the patient what they hoped to achieve when they came today. The answers often surprised me, in that what they wanted was quite realistic, often fairly basic, and easily provided.

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