Hilarious. I think we should also immediately quit all cancer chemo drugs, as these are highly correlated with dying. And as we all know, correlation proves causation. B^)
The diabetes-mellitus urine-tasting warmup is the perfect opener. Real clinical wisdom is mostly curiosity plus a memory for what you have already seen.
How about zip codes? I imagine certain Florida zip codes coincide with increased mortality. As does maybe LA skid row and related inner city environs. Suggest reducing residency in those areas.
And never offer hospice care. That has a terrible track record for all cause mortality.
But if I disconnect my landline, those poor spammers will be out of work! Well, the doc says I gotta do it to live longer; I guess they could always go on unemployment or perhaps get jobs as medical center valet parking attendants.
I love the landline observation! It is definitely the landline that causes mortality, not the confounding that those with landlines are statistically closer to death! HA
Do you think just listing pharmacies located in very wealthy enclaves would reduce my risk of mortality?? HA!
Have you tried changing birthdates? I’ve noticed that my patients with more recent birthdates seem to live longer, so that should be an easy enough intervention in the EMR.
You may not understand why some people retain landlines - mostly as a decoy number, to direct spam to it (where we can use Nomorobo to filter) rather than muck-up our mobile number.
It's worth every penny. Especially in any ballot season. It's *perfectly* rational.
Although also a devoted land line user, I credit two other behaviors for my longevity (80 years old in apparent good health).
1) I have never worn nor carried a watch or any other form of jewelry. I cannot recall any situation where I needed to know the time and couldn't get it from someone else. Although the extra weight is small, I am convinced that the energy savings over time is significant.
2) I have only rarely worn a necktie or buttoned the top button on a shirt. Again, the difference in blood oxygen concentration is probably extremely small but the cumulative difference could be considerable.
I know this is idiosyncratic but, hopefully, some epidemiologists can formulate a scientific study to confirm the wisdom of these behaviors.
I take strong issue with your landline assessment. My patients with a primary landline are amongst the longest-lived in my practice. They are all in their 80 and 90s!!! Using a landline may be an untapped longevity hack.
I, too have noticed the increased mortality rates associated with landline persistence. For the men who exhibit this sign, I recommend canceling their ‘Book of the Month Club’ subscriptions, and counsel against buying suits with two pairs of pants…
Hilarious. I think we should also immediately quit all cancer chemo drugs, as these are highly correlated with dying. And as we all know, correlation proves causation. B^)
The diabetes-mellitus urine-tasting warmup is the perfect opener. Real clinical wisdom is mostly curiosity plus a memory for what you have already seen.
Very Cute D.r Cifu
Love it!! This was absolutely hilarious. 😂
How about zip codes? I imagine certain Florida zip codes coincide with increased mortality. As does maybe LA skid row and related inner city environs. Suggest reducing residency in those areas.
And never offer hospice care. That has a terrible track record for all cause mortality.
But if I disconnect my landline, those poor spammers will be out of work! Well, the doc says I gotta do it to live longer; I guess they could always go on unemployment or perhaps get jobs as medical center valet parking attendants.
I love the landline observation! It is definitely the landline that causes mortality, not the confounding that those with landlines are statistically closer to death! HA
Do you think just listing pharmacies located in very wealthy enclaves would reduce my risk of mortality?? HA!
You’re so funny. Thanks for the laugh
Have you tried changing birthdates? I’ve noticed that my patients with more recent birthdates seem to live longer, so that should be an easy enough intervention in the EMR.
You may not understand why some people retain landlines - mostly as a decoy number, to direct spam to it (where we can use Nomorobo to filter) rather than muck-up our mobile number.
It's worth every penny. Especially in any ballot season. It's *perfectly* rational.
And in severe weather, landlines still work
Although also a devoted land line user, I credit two other behaviors for my longevity (80 years old in apparent good health).
1) I have never worn nor carried a watch or any other form of jewelry. I cannot recall any situation where I needed to know the time and couldn't get it from someone else. Although the extra weight is small, I am convinced that the energy savings over time is significant.
2) I have only rarely worn a necktie or buttoned the top button on a shirt. Again, the difference in blood oxygen concentration is probably extremely small but the cumulative difference could be considerable.
I know this is idiosyncratic but, hopefully, some epidemiologists can formulate a scientific study to confirm the wisdom of these behaviors.
As a devoted tie and watch wearer, I have to say you are COMPLETELY WRONG!!!! 😉
I take strong issue with your landline assessment. My patients with a primary landline are amongst the longest-lived in my practice. They are all in their 80 and 90s!!! Using a landline may be an untapped longevity hack.
It is true that landline owners are always older than non-landliners. This may need deeper consideration!
I, too have noticed the increased mortality rates associated with landline persistence. For the men who exhibit this sign, I recommend canceling their ‘Book of the Month Club’ subscriptions, and counsel against buying suits with two pairs of pants…
Don't you mean trousers? Or maybe slacks?
I come to you from the era when men wore pants…
Thank you for the morning laugh; I love a little sarcasm.
🤣
Will implement immediately!
😊