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KTonCapeCod's avatar

My mom had oral cancer treated with radiation. Her life was never the same. Her treatment cured the disease, so in a way no complaints. What she was left with was devastating long-term lifestyle and literal side effects. Story for another day. She was malnourished (unknown to everyone), had lumbar spine surgery and a postop MRSA infection. Long story short, nonhealing wound and lost a year of her life treating this. She then got osteomyelitis in her cervical spine at the area of radiation to her neck. She chose to become a DNR at some point. Her docs wanted her to get a stress test. I asked why, you are a DNR and do you want any form of surgery should they find something. She said no, good point, opted not to have further testing. Fast forward a year or two, and she died quickly and peacefully (as you can) of a heart attack. The counterfactual is my burden. I always maintained that whatever took my mom would be quick (or so I hoped) because she had suffered so much since getting cancer. I thank God he shared her another long battle of some sort. The counterfactual "argument" is just that. It's a debate left better at a wake with a whiskey in hand and shared quietly alone.

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Carrie C's avatar

Your family lives in a rural area. Your teenager is a new driver. She chooses to drive the short route to school, which crosses a train track that doesn’t have a crossing guard arm when the train comes. There is another route that is two miles longer, but has two traffic light intersections.

As she leaves, you remind her to skip the train track route, because there is no guard, so she does. On the way to school, another driver runs a red light and t-bones your daughter’s car, and the result is tragic.

Did you make the correct recommendation?

Life is like that, not just medicine. You have to do your best, use informed consent, but risks always exist and sometimes the outcome is bad despite best efforts.

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