109 Comments
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Jamie's avatar

bahahahaha thank you for this! i was worried you were going to convince me to quit my new favorite hobby!

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Jennifer Knips's avatar

Oh this made me laugh!!! Thank you!! Practicing internist here….

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Andromache's avatar

Love it!

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Daniel Hall's avatar

I was thinking of trimming down some of my substack subscriptions but you've got me for life now!

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Adam Cifu, MD's avatar

🙏

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Neural Foundry's avatar

Brilliant takedown of the risk-obsession paradox in medicine. The airbag vest for walking recommendation is where I lost it, though honestly I've seen some elderly relatives who mightve benefited from that after their docs convinced them everything carries massive risk. This kind of saetire lands because the absurdity isn't too far from actual medical overprescription of caution.

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Larry J Miller MD's avatar

Hahahahahhaahha

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Mike's avatar

I am currently developing a Pickle Ball Injury Vaccine, using the same safe and effective mRNA platform used for Covid! I recommend its efficacy to be supported by additional precautions such as universal lockdowns which allow only the vaccinated to leave their homes.

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Mike's avatar

Hillarious! Nothing else I can say! Our appetite for absolutely ZERO RISK is insatiable !!!

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Don Gaede's avatar

The health insurance companies appear to agree with the grave risks of playing pickleball, since they claim it’s costing them hundreds of millions of dollars a year. https://www.kiplinger.com/personal-finance/health-insurance/pickleball-injuries-kiplinger-economic-forecasts#:~:text=Insurers%20UnitedHealth%20and%20Humana%20recently,hip%2C%20knee%20and%20other%20surgeries.

Never mind that pickleball might also help people live longer by inducing them to get more exercise, have more social interactions, and experience the pure and simple joy of hitting a well-aimed dink.

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Eric Herbranson's avatar

I’m an 83 year old retired dentist. I have two artificial knees, one artificial hip, a marginal back and an arthritic right shoulder. All directly or indirectly due to a lifetime of skiing…and the occasional crash!

I’ve also skied a glacier in Canada on a beautiful sunny, but cold day with two feet of new powder. My knees remind me of the glory of that day, and it makes me smile!

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Adam Cifu, MD's avatar

Beautiful! Why we do the crazy things we do.

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InternalMedicineDoc's avatar

The absolute insanity and disgrace that our national medical journals have become - especially JAMA and NEJM - knows no bounds.

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robin caruana's avatar

Brilliant! 🤣🤣🤣 We desperately need more satire like this to stay sane in today’s healthcare world. Thank you!

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Aussie Med Student's avatar

What about all the people who are killed by their beds? I'm waiting for the JAMA article on the predatory beds trying to tip you out and make you fall... (Memories of a Bill Bryson column on the ways Americans die)... Sleep spotters, anyone?

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Steven Schultz's avatar

I appreciate the warnings (and the humor). However, I am a victim of pickleball. A friend of mine asked me to join him. I had never played before. I had fun, but then I started to feel some discomfort in my elbow which eventually ballooned into very painful tendinitis. After several days of ice and ibuprofen, I decided it was safer to return to my couch.

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CJ's avatar

😂😂😂. Thank God my doctors and PT say keep moving, no matter the activity.

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Matthew Allen's avatar

Hahahahahaha!

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