Scourges of the '70s, Defeated!

For New Year’s, I thought an important post would be one looking back at health threats from the 1970s that we have overcome. These were scourges that children were incessantly warned about that have now been defeated. Maybe we can be inspired to consider the current plagues which we might overcome during the next 50 years.

Knee Locking Syncope

You’d be standing in line, or at church, or singing in choir, and someone would whisper, “Don’t lock your knees or you’ll faint.” If you questioned this assertion, you’d be told about a relative who got out of military service by locking their knees and fainting during basic training -- irrefutable proof.

It seems that our species has evolved to be able to now stand with knees locked.

Early Onset Osteoarthritis of the Metacarpal-Phalangeal Joint

Let’s stick with orthopedic adjacent issues. In the 70s, it was an accepted fact that knuckle cracking led to arthritis. Somehow, despite all our knuckle cracking, my generation does not suffer excessive rates of osteoarthritis. We can thank what has essentially been a poorly controlled, generation-wide, unplanned cohort study with debunking this myth.

The Deadly Stitch

“You must wait 30 minutes after eating or YOU WILL get a cramp and drown.” I consider it a medical reversal that we learned that a cramp – or stitch as we called it – anywhere near water, does not guarantee death.

I can proudly say that my parents did not buy into this fear. This did not make it any less of problem for me. Because other parents believed “the data,” when I would hop back into the pool after eating, I had to withstand stares: angry ones from other children and pitying ones from parents who felt sorry for me, the victim of irresponsible parenting.

Willful Strabismus

There was an ophthalmological theory that if you crossed your eyes they would eventually “stay that way.” The likelihood that this threat would be voiced was directly related to how loud the howls of laughter from your friends were at your ocular gymnastics.

Light-Related Motor Vehicle Crashes

The 70’s were the in-between times in terms of automotive safety. We had adopted seatbelts and were slowly transitioning from the lap belt to the 3-point restraint. We did not have airbags, the motor vehicle makers were still fighting those. Children’s car seats were still far off in the future. An automobile related threat we were battling, one actually provided by care makers, was the dome light. Every one of my friend’s had heard these angry words during a nighttime drive. “Turn off the lights! Your father won’t be able to see out and we will crash and die.”

The objection to turning on the dome light was a mystery. Some mothers explained that if the light was on you couldn’t see out. This was easily disproven. My mother pitched the idea that other drivers would more easily see into our car, be distracted, and crash into us.¹

Condiment Related Sluggishness

I don’t think this health threat was known outside of my family. I myself heard it only once, at the age of 10, and even then questioned its veracity.²

When I was a kid, I was a dedicated swimmer. I was pretty set on the idea that the 1988 Olympics were going to be mine. (This was completely delusional). My great aunt had actually been a decorated swimmer. She had competed at a national level. Once, when she was visiting, she watched me make myself a BLT. I think she was appalled by my liberal use of mayonnaise. She sternly informed me, with a completely straight face, that mayonnaise was bad for breaststroke.

I find it interesting that nobody knows about this health risk. I suspect I know the reason why. Two words, big mayonnaise.

1. I will not reveal what my family did in the car.

2. I mark this as the beginning of my interest in evidence-based medicine.