The smell of certain bacterial cultures, as revolting as some of them are, remind me of experiments that worked and others that didn’t and the students who helped me do them.
Our experiences serve us in so many ways from making diagnoses to reminding us why we became doctors. Just as important is that each of these memorable experiences keep us grounded as caring human beings. Thanks for the personal perspective it is always enjoyable.
First off I am wishing you wellness in your COVID journey and hope you feel better. Your words have not suffered in the least.
Your powerful essay took my back to my grandfather’s arms when I was 4 about to embark on my first surgery I would remember. He wore old spice and ANY time I smell it I am 4 years old again, safe and secure. I can honestly say that many of my surgeries after that I’d dab that on upper lip as I was being wheeled again to the OR.
As an addictions guy I have had my senses full of alcohol and drug overuse smells; from melena to the unwashed for weeks they always left an almost gustatory mark.
CDIFF - from a personal memory - made it quite clear that we don’t always enjoy our own “brand” as so many fellow GenX’rs love to say.
Oct 20, 2023·edited Oct 20, 2023Liked by Adam Cifu, MD
In December, 2020, I lost my smell. Anosmia. It was the day after they swabbed me to test for the everybody-knows-what-they-were-crazy-about. The swab came back positive for ekwtwca but I was not feeling specially bad. It happened during an international travel and we were required to submit to a swabbing to let us mingle with the rest of the people in that country. It's been almost three years and, although I somehow recovered my sense of smell, it did not come back with my former ability to travel in time with odors. I still hope I will be fully human one day: I always thought that what they call aromatherapy was some kind of quackery.
Some weird experiences post-swabbing: I never liked liver, I now can eat it since I do not feel nauseated by it. I can walk by a truck completely filled with garbage and don't winkle by the foul odor. I cannot detect a gas leak at home.
Smell very strong association for me also, such insightful writing. Thanks, Adam Cifu!
The cologne of a patient who suffered a particular painful (for both of us) surgical complication. He had especially difficult personality traits (confrontational, accusatory, lots of letters to administrators and threats of lawsuits). I have had to spend a lot of time caring for him and continue intermittently caring for him today.
I sensibly shudder internally whenever i smell that cologne- i think its OG Polo
I lost my sense of smell years ago (not from Covid), and you don't realize how much you miss something so basic until it's gone. I can imagine it would be a distinct disadvantage for a medical doctor, although I'm sure you'd compensate. Your memories stimulated my memory (no doubt an association but not a sensory one) of psychologist Daniel Kahneman's description of "the remembering self," which is a storyteller that starts with a basic response of our memory. What we keep from our experiences is a story, and what defines a story are significant moments and endings. Kahneman's research demonstrated that endings are critical to what people store in memory, and how they subsequently evaluate that memory. That's why we like happy endings, and (mostly) avoid repeating experiences that were mostly wonderful, but had an unhappy ending. So to the extent that you can, transform your story endings into positive ones - the power to change our stories is what makes us resilient!
Two days before my Dad died i remember how he smelled like a new baby—-fresh and clean and distinctly wonderful. i thought it was as though God had started making him new again, getting Dad ready for his life in heaven.
This is fabulous! I love the mix of the diagnostic stuff with the personal. Such an enjoyable read!
The smell of certain bacterial cultures, as revolting as some of them are, remind me of experiments that worked and others that didn’t and the students who helped me do them.
thr was a time i wanted to go GI, to master the smells of different infections.
now i think zoom consults are probs fine. instant digital scripts. & an oil diffuser by the computer. _JC
Our experiences serve us in so many ways from making diagnoses to reminding us why we became doctors. Just as important is that each of these memorable experiences keep us grounded as caring human beings. Thanks for the personal perspective it is always enjoyable.
First off I am wishing you wellness in your COVID journey and hope you feel better. Your words have not suffered in the least.
Your powerful essay took my back to my grandfather’s arms when I was 4 about to embark on my first surgery I would remember. He wore old spice and ANY time I smell it I am 4 years old again, safe and secure. I can honestly say that many of my surgeries after that I’d dab that on upper lip as I was being wheeled again to the OR.
As an addictions guy I have had my senses full of alcohol and drug overuse smells; from melena to the unwashed for weeks they always left an almost gustatory mark.
CDIFF - from a personal memory - made it quite clear that we don’t always enjoy our own “brand” as so many fellow GenX’rs love to say.
Thanks for a nice trip down olfactory lane!!!
When I got Cdiff my chief complaint was, "I have cdiff" thanks to my olfactory diagnostic skills.
Ha! Me too! Nothing like it! Just gross.
LOL isn’t it great? I hope u got my little long Covid joke as well - that was in jest!
Thank you for reminding me of those days past.
In December, 2020, I lost my smell. Anosmia. It was the day after they swabbed me to test for the everybody-knows-what-they-were-crazy-about. The swab came back positive for ekwtwca but I was not feeling specially bad. It happened during an international travel and we were required to submit to a swabbing to let us mingle with the rest of the people in that country. It's been almost three years and, although I somehow recovered my sense of smell, it did not come back with my former ability to travel in time with odors. I still hope I will be fully human one day: I always thought that what they call aromatherapy was some kind of quackery.
Some weird experiences post-swabbing: I never liked liver, I now can eat it since I do not feel nauseated by it. I can walk by a truck completely filled with garbage and don't winkle by the foul odor. I cannot detect a gas leak at home.
C.Diff, diabetic foot ulcers, maggot invested wounds, and now marijuana induced colic vomiting. Doorway diagnoses from the ER smells.
GI bleeds too.
Smell very strong association for me also, such insightful writing. Thanks, Adam Cifu!
The cologne of a patient who suffered a particular painful (for both of us) surgical complication. He had especially difficult personality traits (confrontational, accusatory, lots of letters to administrators and threats of lawsuits). I have had to spend a lot of time caring for him and continue intermittently caring for him today.
I sensibly shudder internally whenever i smell that cologne- i think its OG Polo
I lost my sense of smell years ago (not from Covid), and you don't realize how much you miss something so basic until it's gone. I can imagine it would be a distinct disadvantage for a medical doctor, although I'm sure you'd compensate. Your memories stimulated my memory (no doubt an association but not a sensory one) of psychologist Daniel Kahneman's description of "the remembering self," which is a storyteller that starts with a basic response of our memory. What we keep from our experiences is a story, and what defines a story are significant moments and endings. Kahneman's research demonstrated that endings are critical to what people store in memory, and how they subsequently evaluate that memory. That's why we like happy endings, and (mostly) avoid repeating experiences that were mostly wonderful, but had an unhappy ending. So to the extent that you can, transform your story endings into positive ones - the power to change our stories is what makes us resilient!
https://www.npr.org/transcripts/182676143
Two days before my Dad died i remember how he smelled like a new baby—-fresh and clean and distinctly wonderful. i thought it was as though God had started making him new again, getting Dad ready for his life in heaven.
Beautiful.
The smell of melena. That memory woke me up this morning, reading your post. Completely unforgettable 25 years later.
Wonderful, humane writing
The sense of smell and memories...nothing better!
Superb writing and even more important deep insight.
Beautifully written.
Reminds me of something my mom often tells.
"We are nothing but a collection of memories".
Each passing moment in our lives will either register as a memory and stay with us for a long, long time, or be forgotten out of existence.